


Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

by spnfan99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adult Content, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:08:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfan99/pseuds/spnfan99
Summary: Dean is dead and Sam is trying to deal.  Its not really working.  Can be seen as just brothers if you are not into the slash so much.





	Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

This is the second of two stories I rescued from livejournal before I deleted my account. It was originally written from a prompt from snprompts community but I do not remember specifically who posted the prompt. I hope you enjoy it!

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

 

...All diners have noise. Clacking plates, the sizzle of the grill, chatty customers, and the nicotine deepened voice of a 50ish waitress. All diners have noise… had noise… now I hear nothing. How can I hear nothing? I glance up from my menu and she’s staring at me. She must want my order. I know I say something… point to a burger… but I can’t hear it.

I eat.

I sleep.

I drink.

I fuck.

I kill.

In Silence.

No one else has noticed that the sound has been turned off.

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

Dean’s dead. Dean’s in hell. Dean was the only one I ever listened to. He never really knew that. He asked me all the time. Are you listening to me? Yes Dean, I was. Now I don’t listen to anyone. I can’t.

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She was soft, she was warm, she might have been pretty I didn’t really look. She was cheap too, a beer and she just followed me to my room. All that mattered though was that she was cheap. I would rather have had the asshole at the pool table, but with how drunk I was he probably could have killed me and I would have let him. No, the girl’s better. I am not ready to die…

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Not yet anyway.

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Maybe tomorrow. 

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Tonight, she is tight and warm and fucking herself on my dick. I don’t even have to move. It’s perfect. Perfectly silent. Eventually she is gone. I guess she left rather than just disappeared. I wasn’t really paying attention. Which is probably why she left. She probably screamed and yelled obscenities that would have had old ladies washing her mouth out with soap. I didn’t hear any though. I didn’t hear anything. 

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I check my cell every morning. There are always calls… it’s funny I never hear it ring. Bobby, every single time. I don’t play them… can’t hear them after all so what’s the point?

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It’s funny how when you’re drunk no one expects you to talk. No one even tries. If you’re big enough and dirty enough they will take your money, let you get drunk and they won’t even try to get you a cab. That’s why I stopped shaving… that and the temptation...

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I killed a banshee today. I read that their screams were loud enough to kill. Figured it was worth a shot. She died without me hearing so much as a squeak.

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Sometimes… when I’m sober enough… it worries me… I wonder if I’m deaf. I grab Dean’s cell, I actually pay the bill on it now so they won’t shut it off. I listen to the message, loud and clear. I’ve heard it a thousand times. 

I don’t let myself get like that often…. Sober I mean.

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When I let myself think about him I hear lots of things. His screams in my sleep. His singing in the shower distracts me to the point where now I only do it drunk. I hear him over the music in Dean’s car that I never play anymore. It’s funny how I can hear it anyway, but only when Dean is singing. His snores come from the bed next to mine. Sometimes they are the only things that get me to sleep over the sound of the deafening silence. I can’t get a single yet. Maybe in the next town. Dean’s laugh makes me…

I don’t let myself think about him much.

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Some demon bitch showed up while I was trying to drink myself to death… again. Why she didn’t just kill me I don’t know. I was willing to let her. But she just kept talking and trying to take my drink away. Finally I just shouted the exorcism so she would go away. Found out it works… even if you can’t hear it.

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I killed a hell of a lot of stuff… I mean a lot of stuff. That word doesn't sound right anymore. Figured I’d be dead by now since I couldn’t hear anything sneak up behind me. Every time something gets close I hear Dean shout at me to duck. Even though he isn’t there and didn’t shout I still listen… and duck.

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If he would just fucking stop it I’d be dead by now.

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I step out of the shower feeling really weird. Half way through, I started to hear to drops hit the sides of the tub. It sounded like Niagara falls. I shut it off. I jump when I heard the stomps on the floor of the room above me. I finish drying my hair when there is a knock on the door. I almost don't recognize the sound, and even when I do it takes me a minute to trace the direction. 

I want to know what the hell is going on so I open it. 

It’s probably a revenant.

Or a shape shifter.

Or a demon waiting to kill me.

I don’t really care.

I'll take it.

He’s back.

And I can hear again.

Every word pushes its way through the alcohol. Clears out whatever has blocked my ears for the past year.

He tells me how much me missed me.

He asks me if I got him out of hell.

He tells me we have to find out what happened.

He asks me if I’m alright.

He tells me we have to get to Bobby’s.

He asks me if his car’s alright.

He seems to understand that I am listening, even though I don’t answer. I’m afraid if I speak I will shatter my ear drums and never hear him again.

I hold him in my arms squeezing as hard as I can. I can hear both our heart beats. He is still talking. I hear every word. 

He keeps talking all the way to Bobby’s house.

I hear every word.

The headache is worth it.

The End.


End file.
